The Orphan I Am Chronicles – 106

Simple Words;   I left her behind, not too far but far enough so that I could think clearly. It had to be close to 3am, the breeze off the ocean was piercing through the cracks in the wooden beams, my drink resting still on the flat rail, my eyes outward over the ocean, watching the storm creep in. Normally I would be able to gaze upward and see a blanket of stars, but not tonight. It is always difficult for me to go right to sleep after making love to her, mostly in part to my active imagination, creative thoughts that flood my mind, provoking an unsettling feeling along with an urge to grab paper and pen.

But on this night, the storm’s winds wouldn’t allow a page to remain in place, so I thought of her, the position I left her in bed, how beautiful her head rested on the pillow, that lingering scent of her perfume, which she strategically placed so well, somehow remained in my nostrils. How long has it been now? Three years? No, almost four since we had first met that day between shelves E-F at the city public library. Her movement captured me, that quick glance she gave me, it awakened me.

As I watch for it to blow in, I look back every once in a while, hoping that she will stir from her sleep and join me here, perhaps sitting in my lap as my arms hold her securely through the worst of it, we’ve been here before and came out just fine. But something was different this time, this time I was looking ahead, envisioning us at another place, somewhat older and our love for each other growing into this most beautiful new species of flowers for the whole world to see and enjoy.

I can sit out here and think about this, these words which for some reason are reluctant to come out, in fear of my feelings being quite different from her’s. But surely this time we’ve lived together, it does mean something real, something more than just existing, we do blend well together. My restlessness which drives me out to our balcony, to face these thoughts which are thoughts I need to learn how to share, these thoughts which have become my burden, due my inability to simply say what’s on my mind.

The lightning is more frequent, it’s thunder not far behind it, the tops of the waves glow as they quickly crashed to shore and there it is, that scent,it’s her’s. Just as I turn to face the sliding door she is but inches from me, her hand rests on my shoulder.

Her, “I rolled over and you were gone, couldn’t sleep?”

Me, ” No, thought I’d sit out and watch it come in.”

Her, “Is it going to be a bad one?”

Me, “No, not enough to worry about.”

Her, “So tell me, what really is keeping you up at night?”

Me, (pause an clears throat)”I’m thinking of you, sit with me please.”

She sits in my lap, my arms hold her securely, I begin to talk, her eyes fixed on my face, she smiles.

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~ by tonekinchloe on July 3, 2014.

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