The Orphan I Am Chronicles- 7

I wanted to let a few days before I wrote something about Amy Winehouse’s death. I didn’t want whatever I wrote to be laden with sadness and anger and somehow miss my point or what I would try to say. Even now there is a touch of anger, not specifically at her but more towards how helpless we can actually be when someone has gifted as Amy actually is and how her life is over, yes far too soon.

This brief blog is not meant as ‘making  justifiable excuses’ as to her death but more something for people to really think about. When one thinks of a celebrity/a star, you envision the glamor, wealth, the masses of people who well, practically worship that star. You think that somehow they owe us, the fans a right into what little private life they have left which in fact, we have no right what so ever. Yes, one’s actions does cast them into tabloid headings, the fuel of talk shows and something for us to speculate about.

But at what price do we intrude on one’s life and demand their attention all because we feel they owe us since our money has enriched their lives and put them into a lifestyle that many would consider being on a pedestal? We do not know how this truly effects one’s life behind closed doors. Contracts requiring an artist to produce something to feed the masses in a hurriedly fashion, the paparazzi whose unrelenting intrusion into one’s lives, the personal life of someone with its many ups and downs are only amplified with the label of a ‘star’.

It is widely known and not doubted that the success of most stars, excuse me artist lay in part to the turmoil, heartache, the darkness that the individual suffers, making what they produce be it by song, music, a painting, a film or story, something that most can relate to, even if its on a smaller scale. Proven by simple listening to Amy’s song/music and also by simply reading her lyrics alone. So whose too blame?

Well Amy of coarse for one, the drugs, those who despite her weakness and willingness to obtain drugs made them so easily accessible to her. The industry and certainly the media and is need to keep ratings up, feeding the beast. But despite whatever reasons and people we are willing to point the finger at and there are many, it all comes down to the inner turmoil, demons, depression, expectations and Amy’s desire and self acknowledgment that she knew she would not live long and honestly, sought her own means to exit this world, her world.

For one to try and comprehend, relate to her you have to have experience at least a portion of what she has went thru, the drugs? Being an insomniac myself, I can talk endlessly on how at one point in my life I used a wide variety of drugs to simply help me sleep and the rough task of recognizing the harm these drugs brought to me and others around me. It was a close friend, a true friend who forced me in her own unique way to do something about it.

Back to Amy, my point? We will never ever truly know what lead to her final days and the irresponsible decisions she made that she knew, oh yes she knew would remove her from what she no doubt considered a point in her life she needed escape from. The darkness around her where she saw no possibility of light and her own personal bad choices…A month in rehab is a joke, it accomplishes nothing when you are on the types and combination of drugs that she was using. We are talking about a year easily of treatment and being out of the feeding frenzy of the tabloid media but most importantly her fans.

It would be during this time she would resort to coming back down to earth, humbling herself and starting over from scratch and with Amy’s beautiful voice, she would have bounced back, of coarse she would have. RIP Amy……..pEaCe

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~ by tonekinchloe on July 26, 2011.

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