The Orphan I Am Chronicles – 116

•September 28, 2014 • Leave a Comment

I’ve always had problems sleeping, been that way most of my life. If you’ve follow my blog then you are aware of this. I deal with it, but what I have always had a struggle with is feeling caged in, anxiety and stress levels increasing, accompanied with a lack of sleep and much on my mind I’d like to change, I had found some things quite useful in minimizing those, ‘issues’. Meditation came easy for me, once I understood what I needed to do to be able to focus and release and to breathe properly.

Being an active guy, working out and the injuries that go along with aging, I also have used a good massage therapist when necessary, where ever I traveled to or lived. Some fourteen years ago, my attempts to cope with decisions I made, decisions which had to be made, I felt at times like I was about to explode. A girl I was dating suggested a good massage therapist, one which had similar views on life, nature and the importance of minimizing stress.

So I made an appointment (I won’t name the place). Met her just inside and noticed a more relaxing decor with the appropriate music, more tranquil, certainly not loud. After a brief interview of my wants and my busy, strenuous lifestyle, she gave me a decent massage and upon completion, she laid some paperwork on my chest, while I was still laying down, doing her sales pitch and the ‘packages’ she had to offer and their cost. $$$$$$$$$$ She then went on about how they are a chain, with many all over Texas.

This killed it, I informed her that what she was offering was more an illusion and not the place I felt could help me. I politely got up, paid her for that visit and went on my way. She walked me out, not being concerned about why I was leaving, but I’m certain due to the potential dollars walking out the door.

About a month had passed, body stayed tense, tossing and turning at night, while eating poorly, a friend of mine at the gym told me of a place, he swore by this particular person. So over the phone, I made an appointment and the following day, dropped in for a massage. It was located in a strip center along an outbound freeway in Houston, I walked in, asked for Bobbie and within a minute, she walked to me and shook my hand and asked me to wait in the room.

The room, it was maybe ten foot by eight foot, very thin walls, I could hear conversations taking place from outside the door, I felt like animal in a cage, suffocating. So I leap to my feet as soon as I was leaving she met me and saw the expression on my face and told her coworkers she would be back. So she walks me to my truck, hands me her card and say, “I’m sorry, I should have seen that you could not possibly relax here, give me a call later and we’ll discuss you.”

I had no intention of calling her but I got to thinking of something she said, about being able to see that I could not be able to relax etc. So I called and over the phone we talked for an hour, about everything, my heavy workload while commuting between two cities to which I lived in. My divorce which took place years before, past relationships and my present one, my insomnia as well as the many operations I’ve had in my life. So she tells me that she would gladly help me and the massages would take place on the second floor of her home. (Yea, my first thought was sex for money) But I was wrong.

She asked me to come by after my evening workout and as I did so, she showed me the upstairs, spacious and decorated according to her taste of course. The room which the massage would take place was huge, a plate-glass window made up one wall, small speakers placed about, candles burning, Sigur Ros playing very softly, and a rather large bathroom, shower massage, garden tub and immaculately clean. The massage table was larger than most, clean white towels spread about.

While I showered, she sat nearby and conducted a brief question and answered interview, she jotted down some things and when I turned off the shower, she asked me not to dry off and to lay face down. I had wrapped a towel around me and made my way to the table when she said that I could lay naked or she could put a towel on my butt area, I chose naked. As she began, she talked only a short while and asked, How I felt? Was there any kind of anxiety/stress issues right now? I explained how I felt and ask her for only one thing, to help me escape mentally, set my mind free. I thought she would laugh at my odd request, but she understood it completely.

So for ninety minutes, she worked/massaged my aching body, at one point she had climbed up and straddled my lower back, to better massage the large amount of muscle in my back/shoulders, buttocks etc. At times I drifted off to sleep and was only awakened to be turned over. i remember her opening a window to let fresh air in and hearing the ching of a small set of chimes just outside that window. My body became limp, very relaxed and for the first time in quite a while, I saw things differently.

Oh, I can go on and on how each she addressed every part of my body, how she brought me spring water to sip as I needed it, I recall every second, even the ones which I slept through, strange eh? Her fee was lower than I expected and I tipped her generously. She walked me down the steps, my legs wobbly due to the relaxed state my entire body was in. She remarked about how my facial expression had changed, I could only smile and thanked her.

I asked if I could be a regular client of her’s and to my delight, she agreed. So twice a week for almost a year, she herself was my means to escape all that ailed me. One would think that over that span of time, her means would become more routine, but that was never a problem. I ended up moving on and never used her gift again. Another precious moment in time.

peace tone


The Orphan I Am Chronicles – 115

•September 27, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Just because you feel it, doesn’t mean it’s there.

Thom Yorke – Radiohead

I’ve been working a lot of hours lately, some ten-twelve hour days, which allows me to get home, feed Jasmine the cat, shower and eat, then perhaps a little writing. Met a new friend on twitter, she’s cool to talk to. I won’t mention her name here, privacy is always a big thing with me. But I have this blog so does that mean I’m contradicting myself ? lol

I will continue to be busy through October, then I’m planning that much-needed escape I’ve mention here and there before. I will be taking this Thursday off, I never work on my birthday, it’s my treat to me. =)

Oh yeah, it’s about time I’ve gotten another laptop, the keys on this one are sticking etc. Plus its three times the weight of most ones out today.

Okay, here goes,

By the time I had gotten off the train it was just about 4am, the platform was vacant except for a small dog sleeping under a bench, it raised its head to acknowledge me then returned to it cautious sleep. There was a man some thirty meters away, he was coughing loudly and smoking at the same time, this makes no sense too me. Some trash blew from the right to the left, yesterday’s daily newspaper I presume and also just a hint of urine about. I suspect the local homeless used this area for sleep and a toilet, typical I would say.

The small handbag, my reading glasses and a brown paper bag which contained some pastries from two-day ago, was the only items I carried. I’m not quite sure why I kept the two-day old scones, but as I walked past the bench, I dropped them at the dog’s feet. He leaped startled then as it took a whiff at the bag, he devoured it before I made my way to the street. You’re welcome.

I figured that I would just walk the mile plus to her cottage, I certainly didn’t expect her to pick me up but there she was, with the engine of the VW beetle idling, she opened her door and stood by the door, once she saw that it was me, we met some foot or so behind the bumper. As dark as it was, I could still make out her beautiful eyes, that quaint little smile and of course, the way she walked. Minutes later we were but blocks from her home.

Funny how we both kept talking at the same time, so much to say and at the same time, enjoyed the little moments of silence. It was then that the Chanel she wore took a hold of me, a bit dizzy, almost high like, I loved it. Pulling up into the drive, the engine now silent, we both silent as well, turned to face each other, a small yet very pleasing kiss and we were one again, I may never leave this place again,


The Orphan I Am Chronicles – 114

•September 15, 2014 • Leave a Comment

I have finished moving and am happy to announce that the level of stress in my life has dropped significantly. This being the 18th time that I’ve moved since 1996, this go around was a bit more difficult, the Texas heat combined with the humidity and the fact I’ve gotten older, I’m grateful my sons helped out.

I wish that I could have read more of what you all have been writing, I’ll do my best over the coming days/nights, I’m looking forward to it.

I came across this most beautiful picture while on-line, twitter to be exact, I’m not sure of its origin or who the model is or the photographer who took such a breath-taking masterpiece.

1410672488943   This reminds me of a pivotal scene in one of the stories/scripts I’ve been working on titled, Across The Way. A lone figure, standing right on the ‘edge’, with her attention outwards, somewhere beyond where most can see. We see this image and then the questions, the many questions as to whom she is? Why is she alone? With her arms folded securely in front of her, what possibly can she be thinking of? Perhaps someone who has left her, someone out far across the water, someone who decided that a life is better suited for him or her in a far away land. Maybe even still, maybe that with her back to the world, she has put something troubling to rest behind her and dreams of a future, a passion filled life else where?

Then maybe, she is a person who simply admires the beauty in the world and instead of just passing this spot by, she becomes part of it all, if only for a moment. I’m color blind, I don’t have a clue as to the color of the gorgeous gown/dress she is wearing, one that she wears so well. The photographer did a brilliant job choosing the location, positioning her and her gown just right and the perfect time of the day. But the one thing that’s missing the one thing I enjoy when I see such a profound artistic moment like this captured, is her expression.

If you look more closely you see her head tilted downward, a clue that her mind is a million miles away, lost in a thought, a thought which will allow her to see things as they are and imagine things as they could be.

I hope that all of you are well and are doing what you love, always peace , Tone

The Orphan I Am Chronicles – 113

•August 30, 2014 • Leave a Comment

At some point, either by some rare alignment of the planets or perhaps just blind luck, we both arrived in Biarritz France the same week. But it would be a day or two later that we would meet. I had reserved a nice villa along the opposite side of the street from the curved historical seawall. I chose this particular one because of the view from its enormous balcony. I had decided to grab my paper and pen, then made my way to a small coffee shop which was into the little shop area of Biarritz, just at the end of the seawall. My trip here was more an escape from stress, from others which had only seem to add drama to my life, so I left that behind and here I sat, my small cup of espresso and a on and off again gaze outside the large plate glass window. I had become an expert at this people watching and when an idea or a thought struck me, I simply jotted it down.

It was maybe a couple of hours before sunset, I was leaning back in the chair reading when something awakened me. You had just walked in, your carefully placed hint of perfume arriving just before you. As I looked your way, as you moved to the counter, while speaking softly to the barista while retrieving a small book from your should bag. I tried to look away, to focus back on my writing but I was drawn to you, so I cleared my throat to let you know I was there. But your eyes never ventured my way, like me, your thoughts seemed to be elsewhere, you took your drink and sat but a mere three feet from me. You had dressed casual and couldn’t have looked more beautiful. As you begin to read, you gathered your hair and pulled it aside, which left me with a view of your neck. I imagined you in a mirror just before arriving here, with the tip of a finger, a slight touch to your neck and placing the perfume which I smelled now.

Over the next few minutes, we introduced ourselves, you allowed me to sit with you and you talked and I of coarse, listened. As time passed, I found my smile again, something had been missing in my life for some time. We decided to walked the seawall and enjoy the hour before sunset. Summer had ended, fall just arriving so the weather was pleasant. For the first hundred yards or so I opened up, I told you a little about me and how I myself ended up here in Biarritz. It was apparent that for our own personal reasons, we had our walls up but with each step, those walls became brittle, with each step we both allowed more of ourselves to be known. As we watch the sun to our right sink closer into the horizon, an occasional couple would walk towards us hand in hand, they would give us a smile and a nod then pass behind us.

As we neared the end of the walk, we now could see the pier to which many people came to. To look upon it would certainly provoke those romantic sensations that most dreamed would rush through their bodies, it was breath taking.

biarittzpier By the time we reached it, we were no longer strangers, with each step towards the pier, our bodies remained close to each other, your laughter was so appealing, I myself was alive again. By the time we walked out to the end of the pier, most others were gone, so we leaned on the stone support and looked out over the water. I remember you nudging me to stand behind you and to hold you securely and I did so as a single strand of your hair placed itself in my lips, it was as if you had flipped a light switch, my heart beat strongly against your back, your head resting on my arm, we watched the sun fade away and you then decided to turn towards me in my arms and we kissed. We both heard a shuffling of feet and looked away and saw a much older couple get up from a bench and move away. I could not help but wonder how many times this beautiful old couple had been here as we are now.

I moved my mouth towards your ear and whispered in it, your body became warmer, I placed a small kiss behind your ear and with that, your hand pressed against my chest and we kissed more passionately. Then you felt it, my cock hardening as it pressed against your body, your hand slid down and through my jeans, your hand brushed it, then took hold of it briefly, a moan from me and we decided to head to the villa. The distance from the pier to my room wasn’t that far, but it seemed like an eternity and with each step, I began to think, to question myself. It had been so long since I had enjoyed the company of a lovely woman, I wondered if I was even capable of pleasing this woman intimately, with her contagious smile, that inviting perfume, this woman who I shared things in common with?

By the time we made it inside, night had arrived and after ordering something to be brought to the room, we went in for the night. The villa was spacious, its elegance apparent but the most memorable part was the view from the balcony. We both walked towards it, I opened the double doors and as our eyes looked outward, my hand touch yours, you took it and we walked out to admire what the evening had to offer.

biarittzatnight Outward and below, we traced our steps, from the far end to the pier just to our left, on the beach below we could see a couple making love, we watched for a short while, you kissed me lightly and announced you were going in to run us a bath. The bathroom area itself was marble, the garden tub enormous and the spa jets, ample room for the both of us. On the ledge around the tub, they furnished, bath oils, salts, oil lamps and a small window fridge, stocked with small bottles of the finest wines. You checked the temp of the water with your wrist, then lighting the lamps, you called me to come in and join you.

As I entered the bath area, it was a bit awkward for all of a few seconds, then you let me undress you. As I did so, your eyes never left mine, my heart pounded so hard from the lovely fit body I saw that I was sure you could hear it. Naked before me, my hands around your waist, you then began to undress me. As my clothes fell at my feet, there was but only one item to remove, my briefs. You had to press my cock against me so that you could remove them. We kissed and I got into the tub first as you then got in, laying between my legs as your head and back rested against my chest. My face pressed against your hair, my hands began massaging your breast, we soaped up wash cloths and bathe each other, you felt my cock throbbing against you. You turn to take it in your hand and you wash it, its stiffens harder.

We soak for some time, one of the spa jets stream hit directly in the area of your clit, your body tenses, now I can feel your heart-beating stronger. You suddenly stand, wrap a towel around yourself and head to the bedroom, you look back to ask me to bring the lotion. A couple of minutes pass, I walk in to join you, the room completely dark with the exception of the view from the balcony, which we could easily see from bed and a candle which you lit, just on the table nearest the bed. You were laying on your tummy, your head facing the balcony, which gave me a most tempting view of your beautiful legs, your butt. I get into bed just beside you and begin to lotion your body, taking my time, there was no reason to rush. I had decided to lay atop you, my chest against you back, my legs between yours. Then as we turned sideways, my hand reached around to lotion and massage your arms, your breast. We kissed, pulling your tongue into my mouth, I moved you to lay on your back, as the candle burned, as the shadows of us played about on the walls, I began kissing your tummy, your hands reaching for my head, you pressed me downwards and you softly moan.

Hours pass, the candle was itself a reminder of the time we spent exploring each others bodies,

candle There was not a place on your body that my lips had not kissed, nor a place which the tip of my tongue had not brushed. You had positioned me on my back, my cock hard and erect against my stomach, your eyes look deep within me, studying me and as you did this, you then lean down to me and you whisper into my ear, your scent saturates every pore of my body, my hands slowly lay at my sides on the bed. You take control, your hand rubs the lenght of my shaft and I begin to moan.My mind is free again, I was uncertain I could do this anymore, to allow myself to become vulnerable again. My walls are no more and as you and I make love, as the candle burns and shortens, as the night departs and the morning sun arrives, we lay in each others arms, I taste you on my lips, your scent is now my scent. Just before we fall asleep, I reach down to gather the quilt to I cover us up as we now dream together.



The Orphan I Am Chronicles – 112

•August 23, 2014 • Leave a Comment

I never gets used to MOVING and always dread the entire process. You would think after moving some seventeen times already since 1996, I’d be an expert at it, well I’m not. But I am focused on this move and hopefully it can be done swiftly and inexpensively. < I’m wishing. Unfortunately I’ve had to put my writing on hold, to work as many hours for the green as possible with any free time packing and complaining. I hope all of you are well out there in the vast writing universe which we proudly call our home. When I’m done, I will be around more. pEaCe Tone

The Orphan I Am Chronicles – 111

•August 8, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Remember these?

IMG_20140808_140002  When I was a kid, perhaps even you. This was a form of escape, a method of freedom from the ails of a childhood and all that accompanies it. We all had our various methods of using it, as well as the daring heights we would swing ourselves to, often with the help of a close friend, boldly pushing us from behind.

Life indeed was much simpler, we ran around barefoot, we seldom paid attention to the time and most important, it was a great method of hanging with friends, even more important, making new ones. This particular swing is in the yard of a vacant duplex, right next to mine. Over the past 6-7 years, friends of mine have used it, some barely swinging while reading a book. I’ve seen people just walking through the neighborhood run over and sit joyfully and if they happen to make eye contact with one of us, that person would ask, “Do you mind if I swing in it?” Of course not, that is what its there for.

Before my eyes I would witness an adult or younger adult, be taken back momentarily to when as a kid, they to sought refuge on a plank fastened to two thick ropes, by someone who daringly climbed up a tree and out onto a thick branch while others below, urged that person on how to do it. Now as drove around, you would see neighborhood parks over filling with children, their laughter and energy radiating as memories began accumulating in their intelligent, artful little minds.

Time passes, cities close parks, playgrounds, than city public pools likewise. Graffiti escalates, some quite beautiful some hateful and its purpose a sign, a warning for a place once free to everyone, now belongs to a select few who don’t appreciate its history, its worth. Swings and such, once used for recreation, now decaying props in a backdrop, replaced by gang members, drug dealers, prostitution as well as a means of abduction by predators, pedophiles.

When I was a boy and became interested in girls and no longer thought of them as yucky, it was often at the swings where the innocence and all the tenderness and beauty that blooms from the heart of a child that is most precious and priceless, which we all hopefully experienced. These are the moments which become memories which we all hold onto, unwilling to let present state of the world take it away from us.

So every once in a while, I look back and reflect on the heights such a simple pleasure gave me, as I swung boldly into the unknown, my eyes catching glimpses of the clear blue sky and its bellowing white clouds, as my body lifted occasionally off that plank, as my little hands gripped the ropes tightly, so much so that blisters of joy etched into my palm, I look back and I smile at the thought of it. I hope this feeling never goes away.

peace tone

The Orphan I Am Chronicles – 110

•July 31, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Here’s a thought. There in Houston, Texas is the first domed stadium ever built, once considered the ‘eighth wonder of the world’. Years ago, I , along with my friends have seen concerts, rodeos, both college and pro football games as well as many other events. But of course as progress goes, the city outgrew it and the need for a better stadium/venue was to be built and it was. So the aging Astrodome became unused and over the past 3-5 years, a healthy debate over what to do with it.

The Astrodome,


astro1 astro2 It seems that no one wants to spend the millions to convert it into a convention center or any thing else. But what if we say that it is put to a use which any university in the nation would use it, let’s say for the study of climate change/global warming? Think about it, could this huge environmentally controlled venue not be the perfect laboratory, set up with all the latest technology as well as plant life/animals/reptiles, artificially created and controlled weather conditions? I’m sure with government grants, private funding from corporations/science, that we could put this well constructed relic of the past to work for everyone.

How would we get people interested in it? Perhaps by this blog, this mere spark of an idea which all of you could share/reblog ? I would hate to see a structure that some of the best minds of that period constructed be demolished when it could be put to use to learn more about what is changing and destroying our planet. Please kick this blog around a few places, perhaps we can get others interested, the right people.

thanks and peace, tone

Beyond Compromise - الثَّوابِت

Resistance Until Liberation & Return

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Jamie Krug

I am the luckiest woman, mom, and wife in the world. Or am I the unluckiest...? It really depends on the day.

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You need the world, and the world needs good people.


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